A Shocking Betrayal of Friends!

I thought these guys were my friends!  Their cute, tickly crab legs, their somersault bodies, their way of munching all the leaves I was too lazy to rake...  But clearly, strawberries have major appeal for these land crustaceans.  Last year, I bemoaned every nibble found on the handful of strawberries my plants put out, clutching them to my chest and muttering "my precious..."  I blamed the slugs.  I shooed away the seed bugs, who seemed to cause the least damage but were present nonetheless.  I even did an experiment this year: letting strawberries run rampant among several companion plants.  I tried pairings with chives, lemon balm, mint, borage, feverfew, thyme, and just mulch.  Well, guess what?  Mulch is were seed bugs and pill bugs hang out, over-wintering as well.  I found them everywhere except above the creeping phlox.  The creeping phlox is dense and spiky, blocking access to the mulch and none too pleasant to walk across, I bet.  I think the thyme (especially wooly thyme) would work as well, but my plants are still quite sparse.  One thing is clear: strong smells do not keep these pests away.  My solution: Let the strawberries run rampant.  You'll still get pest damage, but the 88 "good" strawberries we picked this morning make me feel less precious about sharing a few here and there.  Then make a strawberry pizza with spicy oregano or lemon thyme and tangy goat cheese share it with your friends.